Enduring The New McCarthyism

It was just a little while ago... in moons (?), oh... sixty-eight... I promised that I'd let you know if I got stung by *fate*.
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Most will not remember then... a statement that I'd made — that I was unmolested (to that point) I wrote to say. I'd suffered no indignity. My future still looked bright. I sucked up new ideas and was changing dark to light...
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I was still a kind of hero — a veteran of the war. I was still an honored student of the kind that none deplore. I was aimed to be of service in a real world way. So, how is it I don't find work where fewer still would stay?
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Call it age discrimination (?), or more simply, "I don't fit," forgetting the predictions... I'm "a natural." -- that's no sh**. Too, I would think outside the box (and just a *tad*, at that); I'd be interested in learning ... though it turns a white cat black...

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Learning changes ones *convictions* to a plethora of choices that will bloom before ones eyes like desert flowers! Learning smashes the foundations that one finds were not so solid when one tests them with the edge of learning's power!

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...Learning changes the appearance some might otherwise project where their shadows were deprived in rising light... Learning tallies the unfairness of a culture tiered with classes so unjust or arbitrary — without right!

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The GI Bill's a *bad* thing, folks. I'm living proof of that. I studied real history as a grownup (that's a fact), and I discovered *small* details, had I but KNOWN... ...back then? Well, things would be MUCH different than they otherwise had been!
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I'd have never joined the Army. I'd have stayed away from war. I'd have seen new ports to issues where, before, they had *two* doors. "Either/Or" would have small meaning; there'd be a plethora of choice... where rights are more important and the *least* command more voice!
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I'd have never laughed at "nigger" jokes, or judged the girls flown by...as barbi-dolls an industry hard sells to you and I. I wouldn't train for teaching ...would have sought some other way (...there was NOWHERE an acceptance; they wouldn't HAVE me anyway...).
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And how am I that far off beam? Can someone with some BALLS please tell me what, specifically... what ailed them — one and all?
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Where am I too far afield? What MUST one, there, pretend? Where are my expressions just so grievous they offend? My expressions are all lawful, and my ethics are discerning. I have tested MY convictions, friend, and continue testing. Learning!
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Are UFOs the reason? Is it comment that I make? Does your conscience rather scare you, so you burn me at the stake? Do I seem an errant cannon — seen as "trouble" folks don't need? Then I suggest they check their *tools* they've used to make me bleed!
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I'm exactly what they *asked* for, those who set the "program" up! But this pogrom of rejection... disrespect? I've had ENOUGH! I've always been of service, and I've done the dirty work... work that many had avoided with their duties dodged and shirked!
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I continued sacrificing when I thought the cause was just. I'd continue contribution, but *elitists* broke the trust. I'd educate the children who would come up after me! See, I'd teach them the importance of the facts that keep them FREE!!!
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...But I won't follow party lines to lie and misdirect, or pretty up the *picture* for the scuts who lack respect!

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That's disrespect in sullen schools where one is disallowed, prejudged without due process, without benefit of doubt.
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That's disrespect to heroize, or paint the *rosy* pictures. That's disrespect to numb young minds with arbitrary strictures!
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That's disrespect to drug them when we won't afford the time... to nurture possibility that is each and every mind!!
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We' re TOO damn *free* to disrespect, manipulate, or charm, then stuff them into cannons... later? Push them into harm!!!
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This is what's perceived beyond... ...this blade of persecution which I seemingly must suffer for... audacious elocution? Though, I sense a grand conspiracy that hides within the system, and it's all about glad dollars and their senseless acquisition!
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I perceive manipulations of a hapless "working class"... that is trained to all its ignorance and contrived to mock their past. I can see the rape and plunder of the many by the few, and it's all done in the *interests* of that clueless me and you.
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Consider, Johnny Ford is such a man who pays the *price*. He's the guy who rots in jail for some*toothpaste* nuked and spiked! He's surely railroaded by convicted crooks, galore; these couldn't stand *attention* brought a'knocking to their door!

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Now Ford is persecuted 'cause he opened up his mouth, FORGET his whole contention might be soaked and stuffed with doubt! John was, YES, torpedoed, for a crime he didn't do. He had no free expression; nor do I, and nor do you.
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...And If I'm across that "line not crossed", than I have news for you. You set the bar too LOW, my friend; there's more in this to view! I was in your bosom and I lived the life decreed. I believed a life of service was the better nation's need!
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I'll now perform that service as a function of critique, and I'll better serve this nation than their apologists would seek. Our nation is the new Rome and it should not be adored; adoration's too forgiving, and there's stuff we can't ignore. So, I am NOT the problem that you'd like to think I am? But I'd expose a problem 'cause I find I give a damn!
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And I want you to remember what must seem to slip your mind (those who persecute me, sullenly, for my consciousness despised): You will only make me meaner, and there're others meaner still. Dismiss us at your peril; we're impossible to kill.

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You would paint me as an enemy when I've always fought for you? It's this nation's BEST ideals that I fight for! Yes, it's true!
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· alienview@roadrunner.com
· http://www.alienview.net/


Fact is? I have no free expression. If I don't have it? Then, neither do you.
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I am being persecuted (denied a living), frankly, for expressing rational views on interesting subjects that are piece, part, and parcel of our human consciousness or experience. They are subjects in no way irrational, violent, or prurient even as they are discomfiting subjects. They're just critical. What's the problem?
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Is it the interminable essence of my PAQ ("Prosery" of Arguable Quality)? Is it the starkly conscientious contentiousness of my social commentary? Is it my rational interest in UFOs and the abduction phenomenon and all their other astonishing ancillaries?
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Is my graphic art that disturbing and unsettling — a lasting reminder to you of something that seems convenient (if unethical) to forget? Is my very amateur music that discordant and exasperating? Machine elves shall not be denied minus even the chemicals required to encourage them to manifest themselves...
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Do you think that I might confuse the kids... (forgetting for a moment that it is better to confuse them than to bore them)?
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...What?
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No one has seen fit to challenge me directly on the foundations (or the appropriateness) of my rational convictions or teaching style. All my evaluations were top drawer. I graduated college Summa cum laude. One teacher on record even said that I inspired her to continue teaching... Yet... no one does me the courtesy of an eye to eye sit-down for a little logical and fair-minded counseling or appropriate mentoring.
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I'm not a know-it-all, reader! I live to learn, and I will only admit to a fairly low toleration for dogs (of any stripe) that won't hunt... as advertised. Regarding those *dogs* (ideas, methods, and techniques et al)... why bother?
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My dogs must hunt successfully, then feed exceptionally well. Well fed, there is digestion. I'll leave their comparatively more efficacious and fertilizing deposits where I suspect they need to go. No apologies here.
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I write epic songs, as affected as that may appear to some. They are in me to express, and I find them singularly exhilarating! That's enough, eh?
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Each of them has its own little jazz/folk tune to help carry it along and, collectively, they are like little keyholes into the universe for me. Rap a la Lehmberg. Sincerely. No apologies here, either.
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On the astonishing ride that these songs have become for me, I am in some way allowed to see a little deeper into the murk —actually a lot deeper— than I ordinarily can or remotely did before... My songs are like literary Blue-Blockers, sincerely. I add, nothing you couldn't do yourself, reader. See through fog, I propose.
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I go *somewhere* with my songs, for sure. ...Some folks share that they can go along, too. I'm abundantly satisfied in that venue. Though, my *satisfaction* is not the provenance of my explication. I don't think it would work that way.
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Every sentence of them provokes an essay which could stand alone. Every word is carefully chosen and even a mini education if the reader should have to look one or two of them up... There're not too many of these aforementioned.
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They are the *right* words, and they are an honest attempt to switch out verbal lightning bugs for literary lightning bolts. No apologies here.
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I'd write them, have to write them, even if I was the only reader. I have some small indication that there are a few more reading than just me, so the worst possible thing has happened... pause for effect... I've been encouraged. Cue the scary organ music!
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...Now you've done it... Abandon all hope ye who enter here!
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Abundant enough, the positive response to my situation by far and away exceeds the negative response. Too, none have suggested that I should NOT be a teacher in a substantial amount of personal mail, while my cowardly attackers and arbitrary detractors continue to hide in the anonymity of faceless "officialdom" or officious little nyms. So, again, what's the problem?
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What are you scared of?
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Why am I paying this unreasonable social price for writing songs of conscientious expression (if that's the problem)? Why do I have to endure this back-shooting dismissal for exercising guaranteed rights? Why should I allow this totally unexplained and completely unjustified reflexive disrespect for my very reasonable and conscious sensibility — a sensibility well within the assumed bounds of a refined civility...
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I mean, really, if I'm not WRITING about this stuff, UFOs and ancillaries, popular culture is otherwise shoving it up my... ...nose... !
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You might argue that I'm cut from a cloth not presently suited for public (and certainly private) schools, and that I would cause a disruption in the status quo. You might even be right... but one must struggle to REMEMBER that that is simply not the point!
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The POINT is that education largely fails in this country, is an uneven academic smear of regressive, grudging, and minimal effort, and that it only teaches children how NOT to lead (or intelligently follow) in the 21st century!
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That's the point.
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The POINT, moreover, is that American public education is a place where the exuberant are drugged to a convenient conformity, the creative are dulled and discouraged to the lowest common denominator, and the intelligent are summarily broken to suit short term faux-social goals. The special are largely ignored at both ends of the academic spectrum!
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It's an environ where the academic penny is saved at school... to incur the pound debt occurring later on at the freaking penitentiary... you all know this to be true. Indeed, I sugar-coat it, reader!
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You better hope and pray that persons like myself question the status quo! You better hope and pray SOMEBODY does. The "status quo" creates more misinformed criminals and rational psychopaths than ever before. Moreover, the status quo deserves every test and question leveled at it. There is growth no other way.
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The "status quo," the reader discovers, is just another societal dog that won't hunt! Besides, the status quo by definition must remain unchanged, even knowing that to remain unchanged is to die suffocating in your own wastes. Verily.
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Moreover, the multi-verse appears to love novelty as much as it hates the aforementioned status quo. There's a lesson in there, reader! The multi-verse is about CHANGE and the conservation of its evolving complexity! We are about to experience that cutting edge complexity.
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Are these preceding thoughts the expressions that I am to be pilloried for? My apologies! Not!

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I have eyes; I see. I have ears; I hear.
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Besides! I have every right of free expression this side of shouting "fire" in a crowded theater, don't I? Hell, I even have the obligation to do that given there's a real fire!
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Fire! FIRE, damn it!
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My expressions, further, do NOT: require my expiation, justify my continued persecution, nor do they warrant the arbitrary dismissal I continue to suffer!
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The aforementioned persecution has cost me 200,000 dollars in lost wages so far reader... while GWB made that in base salary every year for eight years and still sodomized our whole country! There's real irony for you!
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As I have said before, mash something down without GOOD reason "here", and just have it pop up over "there" — meaner. I'll leave it to the reader to appreciate what that might mean.

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For my money, all would have been better served by figuring some way to employ me in the system, but it is too LATE for that now. I was made, much too casually, an item on a social blacklist. McCarthy LIVES.

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It remains to be seen what the end result of that arbitrary assignation will be. A victory by either side is likely to be Pyrrhic, but I cannot go quietly away for having been merely dismissed by just ANY convenient, contrived, or arbitrary functionary or witless juice-sucking idiot and jingoistic mouth-breather!

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Those times are drawing to an accelerating close. Fasten your belts.
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NO, I'll NOT be silent about this new McCarthyism. I'll do as I promised 68 moons (or so) ago and be VERY proactive about reporting any persecution I've experienced as a result of my ufological interests and the unfettered artistic expressions of those interests. I'll also keep making lawful expressions of conscience and social commentary. I owe it to the best ideals of this nation (myself and our issue ) to continue, and I've not forgotten that this is America even if everyone else in the United States Education System... CAN.
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I was in your bosom, America. I patterned myself after the best of what you taught me! For conducting myself in our best traditions I'm to be turned away and cast out?

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Given opportunity? I'd reconsider.

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The implication is that if you can't accept me at MY low octane level... ...then you won't be able to accept what you MUST accept later on to survive a future that roars down upon us all like a long tailed comet from deep space!
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I'm no enemy. I'm that friend who breaks the inconvenient (but needed) news to you!
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Also? I AM you.
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Read on.

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